The Internet Adventures of Paul Bobby Constant
This is a collection of things I have found on the internet that I enjoy. I may occasionally write something that doesn't seem to fit on Slog, The Stranger's blog. But this blog is mostly just a notebook of things I want to remember. I hope you enjoy it, too.
Today I won Script Frenzy, which means I started and finished a 100-page screenplay in a month. While it is not a good screenplay, it does have a robot monkey in it. (Actually, I wrote the screenplay in three days of marathon typing spread over the course of the month, which probably means the screenplay is extra bad. But still: Robot monkey!)
Roger Langridge on the Problem with Mainstream Comics
I really don’t think Marvel and DC are helping things by having gritty, R-rated versions of their superheroes in their main comics – what they sell as the “real” versions – while simultaneously selling those exact same characters in kids’ comics and plastering them all over lunchboxes and animated cartoons… Casual readership by kids, or by parents for their kids, is effectively impossible the way things are currently structured. And I think the waters are muddied too far now to claw that ground back. I think it’s insane that DC have spent 70 years making Superman as big as Mickey Mouse, and branding him to be understood by parents as being pretty much as kid-friendly as Mickey Mouse, only to piss that brand away in a decade. Nothing wrong with doing mature content in comics – in fact, it should be encouraged as often as possible – but doing it with characters who are on your kids’ lunchboxes is kind of moronic. Take a lesson from Watchmen and come up with new characters for that stuff. And then go back to Superman and Batman and put the same kind of love and effort and craft and intelligence you’ve been putting into all those rape scenes and body mutilations into something kids can read, and adults can also be proud to read because of all the love and effort and craft and intelligence you’ve put into it, and make those the “real” versions.
Via Robot 6. The man is a genius, I tell you! A genius!
Hulk hate puny needle!
I love miniaturists, even if I don’t have the patience to do it myself.
Here I am on KUOW talking about mini e-books.
We get these e-mails at The Stranger all the time. It reminds me of this one woman I overheard on the bus in Colorado Springs back in 1996. The bus driver asked her what she was going to do when she retired. “Oh, I don’t think I’m going to retire,” she said, “I expect the Rapture will happen in 2000.” I wonder where she is now, and how disappointed she is that she didn’t save for her retirement because she believed in some bogus half-baked prophecy.
The end of the world is always happening somewhere, I guess.
Things to be thankful for, part 23,824: I have never gotten into a fight at a Denny’s.
Shared by Paul Constant
Linus is still my hero.
Stylistically this is interesting for being composed of eight panels. It also ends with that frequent (although at this point still rarely-seen) concluding word “*sigh*”.
Linus is physically uncoordinated enough that he can’t safely step on or off a curb, but he’s psychologically adept enough to feel despair for his inability.
Related Posts:
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All of our presidents in order:
1. George Washington
2. John Errinson
3. Terry Montrose
4. Hudson McLavoie
5. Jim Stand
6. Bruce K. Tedesco
7. Jimmy Goose
8. Lucas Brokus
9. Plugman M. Tucks
10. Alan Diamond
11. Tex O’Keef
12. Nolan Shack
13. Angus W. Crowe
14. Gepetto Corrigan
15. Liam F. Stitches
16. Jackson Graft
17. Houston van Austin
18. Doug Wobble
19. Geoffrey Risenburg
20. Geoffrey Savinkus
21. Geoffrey Dolby
22/24. Geoffrey Stuckmeyer
23. Geoffrey Simms
25. Governor Mark Whitford
26. Buddy Knox
27. William Jefferson Clinton
28. Joe Montannuk
29. Unknown
30. Daniel Flintstone (Boo!)
31. Bernard H. Stuckey
32. Christopher Tigus
33. Limpton Quick
34. Jonathan T. President
35. Leo Smoot
36. Steven W. Spooner Junior
37. Roy Wizzle
38. Charlie Angel
39. Arck Ack
40. Neill K. Sputterman
41. Oliver Paltrow
42. Sweeney Patch
43. Gary Question
44. Mark Ruth
Somebody get on making an anthology of fiction about these presidents, stat!
(Via Wonkette.)
Steve Ditko.
Continued After The Next Page! Comic Book Adverts!
Filed under: Continued After The Next Page! Comic Book Adverts! Tagged: Devil Dinosaur, Jack Kirby, OMAC
Pardon the Dump of Presidential Proportions
I’m testing out my new ifttt.com beta account. Working well, so far!
Only a Nerd Could Love This Song
(This is part of an ongoing series rating presidential campaign songs, in rough chronological order. You can find all the previous entries here.)
- Nerdiest. President. Ever.
At least his song, “The Union Wagon,” was similarly nerdy; Fillmore didn’t pull any kind of bait-and-switch with a hardcore kick-in-the-pants campaign song. The tune was hopelessly bland, and the lyrics were completely wonky. They imagined America as a wagon, made from wood from all our many regions:
Our wagon is a noble one,
‘Twas made in seventy-six;
‘Twas driven by George Wash-ing-ton,
Through stormy pol-i-tics!Palmetto, cypress, cottonwood,
in spokes and wheels you’ll find;
Western oak and Eastern pine,
and Northern ash com-bined!Wait for the wagon,
The Millard Fillmore wagon;
Wait for the wagon,
And we’ll all take a ride!
And then it swings back around and makes the wagon—America—the Millard Fillmore wagon. Fillmore is a man of the nation, a product of America, taking no particular region as his favorite. He’s all about unity! (Remember, this is as the state’s rights battle that will become the Civil War keeps heating up.) It’s not as thunderous as other campaign songs to date, and it certainly doesn’t score high in terms of memorability, but it tries to use poetic imagery to bring the people together. Nerdy, yes, but sincere.
Lyrics:5
Enthusiasm: 3
Infectiousness: 2
Total Score: 3.34
Old Rough and Ready
First of all: The nickname “Old Rough and Ready” is better than just about any other presidential nickname ever. It works for a soldier who is brave and strong or for a gay porn star. Good job, Zachary Taylor!
Second of all:
Rum-a-dum-dum, vote for Taylor!
Rum-a-dum-dum, son of freedom!
Rum-a-dum-dum, vote for Taylor!
He’s the boy can skin and beat ‘em!Old Zack kicked up gun powderation
With the Texas annexation.
Anyone makes much ado,
He’ll flog ‘em and annex ‘em too!
Rhyming “son of freedom” with “skin and beat ‘em” is the most awesome thing I’ve seen in months.
Third of all: Just listen to the song. This is fucking amazing, full stop.
Lyrics: 9.5
Enthusiasm: 9
Infectiousness: 9.5
Total Score: 9.3